HERE'S MY HEART

"Sometimes being an artist feels like crying into a perfume bottle for others to wear." - Abra

 

A few months ago I decided to compile a few old (but mostly new) poems together and self-publish a book. I've always wanted to write and publish a book, but I never focused my time or energy on it (until now). I was, and still am, super excited, but as this little book keeps growing, I'm realizing how terrifying what I'm doing actually is.

Basically, I'm putting my beating, bleeding heart in my hands and holding it out to anyone who wants to see. I'm putting it on my sleeve, sharing my fears and desires and insecurities, exposing my most raw and vulnerable moments (to potential strangers like ??? WYD).

The craziest part to me is that when I read my older work over again, poems I wrote crying or laughing or numb in my bed at 2am, I can barely remember feeling the way I felt when I wrote them. I remember writing them, but the sad poems make me smile because of how far removed I am from those feelings now. The happy poems make me nostalgic for nights I can barely remember, that I've saved in a tiny space in my brain, immortalized by my own words.

I guess this blog post has two main points:

1. Write down your feelings, especially in moments of extreme emotions. Write them on a napkin, tap them into the notes on your phone, immortalize how you feel in that moment whether it's shitty or amazing. You'll look back at the memory and be filled with warmth from the nostalgia or you'll smile because of how much you've healed from a bad experience. Regardless, you'll have saved a piece of time.

2. If you read this far, thank you. If you read my blog posts, thank you. If you read my poetry and support my work and send positivity my way, THANK YOU. I appreciate you more than you know. All that I ask is that when you read my poems, read them with an open heart and know that I have grown so much, and I am growing so much.

Be soft with me.

lifeasha bailey