Hi, my name is Asha and I'm 21 and I think I should have everything together and it's ruining my life.


*crowd says "hello Asha" in unison*

No but truly...I wake up in the morning with the deepest, emptiest feeling in my stomach. I feel like I am wasting time. I feel like the sand in the hourglass that is my life is just landsliding down the invisible funnel and here I am. Sitting over a sales book in an 8am class, barely able to keep my eyes open because I am

a. still asleep

b. bored out of my fucking mind

c. completely distracted by all the things I'd rather be doing

d. all of the above

BUT WHYYY do I feel like this? I'm 21. I'm young and healthy and a solid 7.5 when I try to be. I know I rant about social media quite often, but I can't ignore the fact that it's a huge reason for my aforementioned deep and empty feelings. If I could tally up how many times I compare myself/my life to other people's lives on Instagram, I would have a shit ton of tallies because I do it way too often. It's just so easy when you are (over)exposed to them 100+ times a day.

Damn, she's my age and she's engaged.

He's taking time off school to travel??? I wish I could do that...

Wow she's WAY prettier than I'll ever be and her Instagram aesthetic? Incredible.

It's all so shallow and it's all bullshit yet for some reason it hurts me deeper than I'd like it to. I can recognize that it means nothing, that it's a skewed perspective into someone else's altered reality, but I still compare and allow my thoughts to become negative and self-destructive.

It sucks that society gets to decide what is worthy of appreciation and what isn't, and from there they decide who becomes "successful" and who doesn't. It sucks that it matters who you follow and who you don't, how many individuals like your photos, how many followers you have...I mean it really shouldn't matter at all because none of those things equate to you being a cool or pretty or interesting person. I mean...Tomi Lahren has over a million followers on Instagram. That should be enough evidence to convince anyone that it doesn't equate to being cool or pretty or interesting.

I guess this blog post is just meant to serve as a reminder to myself and whoever is reading this:

stop taking life so seriously.

lifeasha bailey